Harris Cyclery Racing

Regards and Salvation in births and marriage

2006-12-13T20:22:00.000-08:00

let us give thanks for friends with babies in their bellies and weddings on their minds.
let us give thanks for careful planning and logisticians.
let us give thanks for jokes gone wrong and disasters big and small.

when i was in virginia a week ago, my father and i saw the new and friggin awesome james Bond flick. let us give thanks for sinister villains who claim that blood via the tear duct is not 'sinister.'
cheers to a 007 with lighter hair; as innovative as flight itself.
(i heard that in the next one, they bring back the Concord, and tire/wheel shrapnel downs that one too)

i have a chum serving in S.Korea: i give thanks for his life, which he has put on the line for ours.
i have respect for those who declined signing the oversize 'Good Tidings' card for him, Boston Messengers uniting and dividing over the idea of sending off a kind word to "that doucheBag."
the 14X17 document covered with signatures and photos in Mikey-O's honour is to be shipped in the next few days, bound for a US military installation on the other side of the planet.
our cheers and jeers are the same: be safe man, we love you.
poot sends

indo Faction, broRice and jungleCafe

2006-11-28T06:54:00.000-08:00

today is my mothers birthday, i think we might go out for Thai. but i have to find her first. my big sister has taken her out on reconn somewhere in the southshore arena, who can tell.
please take a look at the fine work of Scott LaPierre.

http://www.boston.com/news/specials/10_20_30/

he has encapsulated a few Bostonians in a multimedia presentation that is definitely worth the trip. the entire adventure might take something like 45-50 minutes. so brew a cup of the old chai and plug in your flash: LaPierre is a pro. during the second interview, we were on Congress street, he was snapping shots on his digital photo device when the security detail of Exchange Place demanded ID and camera files. although they believe us to be sleepercellageStakingout the loading Dock, scott made it crystal clear that he was a journalist for the BostonGlobe. he gave him a business card, and nothing else. a team of about 3 broadSholdered Securitazi followed us down state st, trying to bully us, or remind us that the cold war was NOT won. howsoever, they fell back into their bunker lair. i found it pleasing to hear other peoples impressions of their living Zones: district pride, burough esprit de corp, gang signs, homeland informants.
this weekend, NJ and VA. can't wait to see my little sister and Pop and the family indonesians(rubi, moeljo, sukoro)
(when the going gets western, we head east.)

Hans Rubi Creates Sensation at MAC Race!!

2006-11-15T14:32:00.000-08:00

Here's Mud in your eye you Mid-Atlantic dwellers. We brought out our best guns for the races this past weekend and look what happened.

Day One:
The first day was a day of sharp turns and pain. Pain in the races, pain on our faces, and pain when CRothJ tried to navigate turns and talk on the phone. It was a good thing that Jeremy Powers was there to help him off the ground. I have to say though, the Lower Allen Township (not Turnpike) Park race is always a fun one. A good mixture of fast grass with some mulch, swingsets, and road sections to boot.
C-Men: CRothJ: 12th
B-Men: jd: 7th
Elite Men: Hans Rubi: 28th

Day Two:
The rain came. The tires pressures went down, way down. Mud levels went up, way up. The morning wasn't too bad as far as the course went, a lot of uphill, but still navigable. A slight mist was in the air, a real "Grey Lunger" as they say...but who the hell are they?
Chris Horner was there, he crashed. Hans Rubi was there, and he crashed also, but that doesn't mean he didn't hang it up, he just kept pushing through all that mud. Probably one of the most amazing performances that I have ever seen.
C-Men: CRothJ: 33rd
B-Men: jd: 5th
Elite Men: Hans Rubi: 19!!!!

We'll see you next weekend MAC! Bring your mud too.

deep dish over ground zero

2006-11-07T16:52:00.000-08:00

not too long ago i viewed the "loose change second edition" DVD. the delivery of the information was mostly objective, save the music score supporting osam'bn'lddn quote that he had nothing to do with 9/11. simple sand dweller chilling in the hills with a cup of tea and a us gov'r stinger.
i was one of those mass. national guard folk who were called to arms. the barbarians were at the gates and we were not going to go down without a fight. and hey, war makes money. mad cash monies river flow. everybody living like kings cause the world gonna end, now spend.
reActivated back into the airForce, hmmm, think i'll treat myself to a new discman.
i observe the fighter pilot signing out the F15 for a spin. along with his helmet bag he is clutching a 7" square box that is 2" deep. he is strapped in and saluted on his way. upon landing, i ask the officer how his pizza was.
"–Pizza? aw no., that was an america flag I was flying with over lower manhatten, it's being presented to a minister in ohio by senator kerry, at some commencement. (shrug)"
so sick that we spare no expence to enhance this trickery.
the f15 can fly to nyc in, i think it's like 9 minutes. yo, f the fung wa.

loosechange911.com

evacuation doubt

2006-11-05T16:34:00.000-08:00

i read a clip in the Globe a few months ago that gave supposed deatails on the owner of finageluhbagel. there were claims that he/they were wicked big coke dealers. if that's what they say then perhaps there might come to light the supposed method of delivery. via the west, through new york state, strippedDown lotus elite speeds down mass pike. law abides as it casually enters south station arena and politely obeys its way to west bound entrance. once past paper trail Cambrodiage toll plaza, pilot cuts electrics, pins the needle, and engages NVG. world headquarters on the right, shotgun flings sachel.
(wooden bridge, the ringer, 15 mph: "–roll out and take that Hill.")
NVG deActivated cerca w. neutown, and backRoads mullie it to interstate south.

looking forward to new hope, pa. thems some beautiful battlegrounds.
the only problem that exists is the drop.

good to see jude; shaking hands and wishin bro well.
ma'lucas brought his weapon shield and was slaying dragons.
matt and jenny and their amazing mini solos, whose hoth base parkas have yet to achieve wolfcoat hood lining, i really cried with happiness for them. drawing in the sun by the railroad tracks: a scene that would stop any war.

[save all the whales, NoFin too small.]

trick your Fleet

2006-10-30T21:44:00.000-08:00

it was a blessing to feel so utterly pooped, so confused and strewn all over; falling about the place. i am refering to the beacon cross race of the weekend. the new Igleheart rode like a champ while i just barely held on for DFL. the south jersey ops included croth J and j dunn, and our hostes jeremEllie in N. Philly. my home girl and her man, holding it down by the elevated tracks with their cats and ways. cheers to you both. bravo to our friend chris Igleheart; to your craft and fine attention. you have my word that i will give it everything i have until fuseless.
jeers to our grass rations road scorched sand trapped, blast oasis and nap.
new jersey is glorious country, but returning from bridgeton was an arduous drive up through busted intestines: the mighty wind of Zeus on Olympus nudging rented chevy CobAALT hither and thither whilst it guzzled more Iraqi based ameritroops and spit them out the exhaust. a machine of some minor engineering marvels, the compact auto and its designers who are so obviously in league with the US-PolitGrand and warHawk generales: style and moderate comfort followed by a product that is sure to keep US citizens in the shit. thanks to these fine people we can traverse our land with little fear of hooptey invasio-manner takeOver by foreign power. at least, not including boston based film students who think they can get away with shooting footage a la Munich '72 style roof top assault, as occurred last week in Deep Back Bay arena. the horrific scene promted a passer-by to "hit the deck" and slam the digits to F'ashcrofts hotline du Super panic. i hope to christos that that med school or who so ever Booked it back to his safe European Home and bathed like a hero. i can only imagine the real street scene as the 'hats-n-Bats' swooped in like the A-team to snuff the artists big screen break.
long of the short, if you are fixing to film anywhere in the municipality and are involving skiMaskies and guns of Brixton, either wait for the law to break in/ notify the BOS polizei/ or dial in you grrilla methods so as to include a getAway path and subsequent filming of realTime swatResponce.

Hair Trim Ops, postponed

2006-10-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

My nephew was supposed to come over last night for a hair cut. I have been trimming his crown for something like, 7-10 years, so it is a rather sacred event. sometimes his mum is there watching, trying not to interfere. meanwhile, i am looking at them for guidance and a little feedback as to how they want skywalker boy to look. when i ask my sister for a clue, she gestures with her hands as if she is a pantomime decopaging a Pleistocene Bust of Cure's Robert Smith. instead of trying to decypher the Air Fu, i craft nephews hair in a manner befitting a lad well on his way to ruling the universe. i am jealous that he is so metropolitan; roaming the BOS with his mates and skating the scene rebel Black. but then i remind myself that the FortePoint channel does harbour some denizen of ill repute: Listos, crackies, and shadow roamers looking to beatDown a lost soul.
i should furnish the boy with a police issue taser. i hear that they save lives.

poot.

Polizie Tazer Trailer

2006-10-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

For a few days after returning from New Glouchester, ME, there was a police trailer parked out in front of our building. it had a serious airbrushed mural on it, Full Bleed close up of a swatTeam glove clutching a fierce looking tazer device, complete with blue shock diode glow.
Remember Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? the police convention? yup, the Po-Po had it going on at the neo-Convention starship. for the love of the christos, checkIt:

The absolute creme of the national Law Enforcement brigade drooling over tearGas shells and anti-personel shot; stunGrenades, riot cuffs, blast shields, evil flavoured mace canisters, stainless steel coffee mug/radio combo.

i really have no idea what went down at that showcase, best not speculate.

new glouchester was a great time, i wish to extend my thanks to Phil and Chris, their son Sean: our host family et al. their hospitality and support are to be praised. what amazing folk. huge merci.

happy birthday to matty D, i love you man.

harris/igleheart will have embattlements on two fronts this weekend. MAC and local ops. To all combatants and staff, safe travels and many happy returns.

poot

Here's to 2006!

2006-10-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

Another year of Gloucester has come and gone.
All the original favorites showed up for two days of intense racing under the big rock, and next to the sea. Richard Fries, Tim Johnson, Lynn Bassette, Mark McCormack, Hotdogs, Chris Horner, Free Clif Bars...

There were some new favorites there as well. Perri Mertens storming the Elite Women, Hans Rubi Pete moving up to bash elbows with the big boys, Alex bringing home a silver medal, and our new best friend Christopher Igleheart was on hand to cheer us on...

Word up to our pals at VOmax for the sweet new threads.

Lets do it again next weekend.

oldest nail, the city is not ready.

2006-10-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

there is so much gosh darn construction in and around the city, that it is hazardous to even gaze upon. meaning being, if you catch yourself staring at a new constellation of jersey barrier road cone asphalt death strip, the next sound you will hear will be your upperstrut bearings smashing against the struts, loud and offensive. Smarts! Jabs up your spine, never forgives.
speaking of which, there are many ladies sending the pregnant pill around town, like a hot designer drug being passed around without fail, everybody gets well. they prance about town in their pastel belly tents and wide flared trousers. i saw this one round tummied lassie stepping across devonshire st looking like an extra off the old battleship Galactica show: black linen and satin flowie pants jacket blouse. the belly was set off with GOLD PIPING down the arms, legs, and lapels. jesuChristos, like han solo meets david bowie: green milky booze and mounds of coke; spice mines gone arwy and the church of man love goes up in flames. get dolled up toots, time for another red army recruit to be birthed. sorry to say this, but it might as well be tagged and bagged upon re-egress re-entry earthTime: in month 14 a crazed rebel agent will plundge an old fork into the temple of your soft newborne, sharply turn left, and extract some serious UdonNoodle matter.
if you could go back in time, and pickle yourself, would you do it?
back to business, Boston is fortifying its walls, secretly. civil services are amassing bunkerLike safety networks. the whole charade is being masked as a Beautification process.

just what humanity needs, more superfitia.

hull breach and other reminders of evil

2006-10-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

our drive down to E.falmouth was not without glimpses of route 3 panorama through tear-tainted eyes.
i love approaching an overpass that has been assigned pro-militaria poste-IT note duties. always enlisted, funny, this.
it is as if there are no Pilots or Officer-corp living on the southShore or on Cape Cod.
perhaps it is because family of Officers are trained in more covert methods of the "Roadway WelcomeHome"

(fighter Pilot Dad returns from overseas duty in the early morning hour to his wife and sons.
there are tears and with the hugging, joy runs pell mell about the place.)

"my god have I missed you!"
"baby, i missed YOU"
"I almost drove off the road I was so tired, and then I saw your HeartShaped infraRed homing beacon two klicks past exit14"
"it was totally improvised, i love you robert, glad you liked it"
"mmm, it was sweet, except, i thought it was a painted target, yeah, and I grabbed the E-brake like it was a bombRun! fishTailed passed a trooper and spilled my dunkies TurboHot!"
"golly, the free world IS exciting!"
"-where's ollie and ben?"

bottom line, jetCraft and fighterPlanes are awesome, because as everone knows, airSuperiority settles disputes.
Seapower is terrific; initiates conflict. LandForces move in to crush the counter Offensive and smash reOrganization of a mobilGovernment.
Airpower destroys communications, cuts supply routes, and prevents an airBorne egress of the politburo and the aristocracy.

despite what you might think about this issue, i shall not become a vector for antiSentiment toward any branch of our national defence. here are some films to consider next time you think your brother has planted fiberOptic listening devices in that amazing sofa you found in oldMoney JP:

platoon
glory
killingfields
deerhunter
3kings
blackhawkdown
force10fromNavarone
flightoftheIntruder
apocolypseNow

on saturday evening i heard an f15 fly by. no, not a flyBy, there was only one of them. unless, unless he was heading to the redsox game. i think it was their last game of 2006. baseball is cool and all, but i like Cross better. oneday we shall have an AV-8B harrierjumpjet kicking off CX nat'ls, and it'll so overshadow a subSonic stadium buzzing. if the DoD doesnt go for it, i am sure the RAF will come through. (offshore carrierOps-to-ground)
long of the short, i love a 4thjulyFlyBy.
point fingers, stack sandBags, rig the bridge for demo, dispence with the pleasantries.
i need a new driversLicense.
i need a new box of Pandas Licorice.
will the fighting never stop.

hans poot

Directeaur Sportux Pledges WideSpread Chaos

2006-07-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

It goes without saying that the pace here at Harris Cyclery is in full swing. My regards to all the other bike Shops in this nation who are appreciating the furious mobilization of machines and geared devices for Americans and Sleepie-cells at large. we all deserve the joys of the bike, either for racing, recreation, and the beer-run.
Personally, it makes no difference if you are a courteous patron or passively-self entitled member of the faux-Kennedy family, everyone deserves a finely tuned ride.
Though the training campaign has been mildly sporatic, the intent is evident: to re-arm the Sling with the best stones David's monies can buy. who, you say? this is anyone willing to stand up against a crazy huge warrior, or Red China tank, or a tourist trolley on Boylston Straat! As there are never any assurances to success or survival, lose your knee cap to Grape-shot and take the medal. rest, recover, and then tell your directeaur Sportux that you will feast upon more ball bearings when your Phantom Feeling returns. He will sadly smile, and later, cry for your mother.

for now, we are carrying Shovels. they are scuffed and dirty from filling up sand bags; fortifying the walls of a city doomed to be sacked by the armies of Mars.

yours is a Maginot line awaiting a train wreck oh so very terrific.

shuffle to the door, clip on to the line, and prepare for Green.

cheers.

neu Psy-Gone ops, evac go/Code, Michael-Hotel

2006-05-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

with the evacuation Code, there was the full-on scurry to assure that all personel were accounted for, along with their devices and means. satalite eStation, Mi-Hi lowlands is definitely hot. intell has assured us that there are designs to overrun and loot; be advised, there are un-friendies on the Wire. thanks be to Zeus that our first transport got away, via BOS route one, avenue du Artes of course. the plans for helo pad are delayed, but we are told that subsequent air drop should continue unhindered. again, be mindful of hostile junkie factions roaming in the shadows, they are being guided by forces close to your position. pop smoke, duck and cover, hang your towel post shower.
cheers , Poot

Total F'in Coverage, (rained out family weekend)

2006-05-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

mom had just run out of Go Pills, and so her last sortie had to be delayed: suzy would miss her HALO into deep Laos. good thing it was a routine Sweep and Clear of hostile forces. with this new developement, the Dumpster Divers set forth to procure the most elegant breads and luncheon meats available: team Kilo entered the bunker first, followed closely by team Nuevo, the rookie squad.
(standard procedure is to unleash team Nuevo first, put them on point, if you will. but due to budget cuts and bad planning, HQ could not afford to lose another team Nuevo to a claymore and incendiary device throw-down.)
Kilo leader noticed the box of eclairs first.
"oh, by the Gods," muttered Kilo leader as he stared at the other half of the treat-prize, "you taste amazing."
it was his wing-man who noticed the package of milanos. in his haste, he did not see the piano wire that was attatched to it. his crime cost him an Arm.
and the storm front moving in cost the entire team a much needed extraction.
bivoac and post sentries. always.

Tragected

2006-04-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

Tragected.

Leveled off, tried and trued and muted.
Rifled muzzle, smooth bore approach was too eratic.
Indexed meter, the inventory is all accounted.
Sleeper cells, make ready their devices.
Trapped in a bag, the shell does not evolve proportionately.
On the shiny Steel lab table, fluid of worry pools arrogantly.
There has been a fatal crash, ground the Fleet and clip your wings.

Romancing the StiZone, Su. Americano Edition

2006-01-09T11:49:00.000-08:00

one of my favourite GI Joes was Reconn. his modus operandi was to reconnoiter, to check out the scene of whatever theatre of operation was on the schedule that day over at GI Joe HQ. so, "Reconn" very concise and abbrevious, no? There are, moreover, many ways that Reconn might spend his day. THERE is the magic! because it is not exactly specific to any ONE course of action, this makes him a meastro of mysterio.

Duke might ask Sgt.Extra of the current status of FlameThrower, or Saboteur, or HALO.

ok, you got me: everyone has an ambiguous title, meant to concele their activities or whereAbouts. FlameThrower is probably torching something. Saboteur is F'ing up a device of the enemy. HALO is doing high altitude landing ops.

Reconn is just sorta checking things out. here are a few suggestions from our readers of what Reconn could be scheming.

reconning the sushi selection at Stop and Shop, for freshness.
reconning the road patterns down Atlantic Ave, by Commercial Wharf, BOS
reconning B.U. gals propensity for bussing their cups and dishes at the CommAve Espresso Royal Cafe.

here is to our comrade and comradine in SudAmericano. They win the Reconn Award: sub-award, Romancing the Stone with Michael Douglas and Kathline Turner Award.
we love you and wish you great and safe travels. keep on checking cool shit out.

Poot sends.

ps, send word if you need snake bite kit or clean wife beaters.

Your Taun-taun will never make it past the first Marker!

2005-12-13T10:50:00.000-08:00

Then I'll see you in Hell, hee-Yaaa!

Such was the Mantra of Han Solo, clad in his nato issue arctic warfare parka prototype. I am honoured to have fought along side so many doomed rebel freedom fighters; Jurga, you win the Skywalker Battle of Hoth Base Hero Award. wicked big thanks for putting Massachusetts on the podium, you totally deserved that triumph.
the Imperial Probe Droid Award goes to D.Rose, fierce SnowSkiff rocket boy wonder.
the Hoth Wampa Ripp'em up Award goes to A. Whittmore: amazing face-slashing power!
the Wedge Antilles Harpoon Gun Award goes to the fabled Matt Budd, on his Matt Budd.
shout-out to BikeMan's DeMeis, who, thankfully, took Luke Skywalker method acting to a whole new level at the torturous hands of his his bro, Jude. your UnHoly sounding cheers of advise from behind the tape got me through the trenches.
mega-Pothon ray Blast to my Director Sporteef as well as EveryOne on the HCR team, et al yo! without you I would have surely fallen to the Seasonal Affective Disorder gobblin, who, armed with a BlueLight Laser Sword, bludgeons the hopeless and the weird. whoa, time to give obi-wan back his deposite, cuz I still got his Blau-shroud cloak checked out from the Jedi Work'n'Gear Outlet.

[cue J.Williams outro]

love Poot

"...For Shop and Country!"

2005-12-05T14:29:00.000-08:00

The Director is proud, no Damn Proud, of the job well done.
A crazy three months with an even crazier crew couldn't have been better spent. We bumped heads at the start but I learned and you all listened. I knew this group was special, but you demonstrated that every time we rolled down the yellow tape lanes for all else to see. I couldn't have asked for more but every week you delivered and dug deeper and pushed further. I have never seen a group collectively progress as much. When we're on the stage it is a grand show.
So right now give the big pat on the back to yourself feel good and look forward to Nationals.
We have one more weekend to finish off this bag of derailler hangers.
Stay cool for the week.
Roll the grid safe, don't let the rectangles front with stress...
Cause' Deadguy's crew is the best.

DirectorSportuff is out.

What the F*ck, Chuck.

2005-11-29T21:16:00.000-08:00

I miss going on road trips with the guys. They were so fun. I know, Hans didn't win when I went, but this time he was back in the MAC...his powers...Doubled. Werd to you man. However, when I went. My beard took pics like this one.

See Drose in the back there? Looking all Devo and smug. His hot tea waiting, quivering with anticipation, hovering in mid-air while some lady drives up next to us. Who you foolin, son? I know you about to pour that on my c-rotch. Don't lie.

And please, please tell me, that when we get pulled over, the Director is going to get us out of trouble. Why? Because he looks like an off duty Vermont State Trooper. I knew it. Dialed right in.

But really, what you are asking yourself, is "What the F*ck, Chuck?" Well, it is Here. Parental Discretion is Advised.

Stratagem Two Fold [sic]

2005-11-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

Greetings, this is to be a Two Front weekend. the players might be different, but the rules are the same. engage with laserGuided precision, following the egg and chezo sandwich or course.
we shall first bivouac close to home. the theatre of conflict is round4, new england stijl. somewhat near the BOS. after the ordeal, bravoSquad will away to the south, where the family restaurants have some of the nicest and most awkward teen waitStaff in this UNation. their collective courtesie notwithstanding, they will never fully grasp our ways. But it will be our last reenactment of sherman's party waltz for season'05.
A Toast: here is to Virginia. Up and Over lads. oh, and gents, my 3yr old indonesian halfSistah might be in attendance, this is to say, that she is finished with her polyExotic training.

"OFF TO THE FRONT, YOU BLINDMAN...!"

comrades, i shall see you all on the other side of the river.

Ssgt. Poot.

Hoth based, Disgraced.

2005-11-18T14:37:00.000-08:00

Thank Zeus I missed out on work this Wednesday. who knows where the communication gap took place, but it meant that i could catch up on sleep, remember the sleepy time tea cozey dozey gig? sometimes there is not enough, like when you are on assignment in the outer regions controled by the Hutt. Creepy times, right? Today was fun, chilly and crisp. running noses, running red lights, and running on empty, Prince. Mad Zone CrissCrossing around the BOS, lightning strike in and out of Cambrodia, and nothing delights me like a lightning strike ops through Cambrodia, those fascists! [cambrodia is cambridge, y'all. watch Flight of the Intruder, with Willem dafoe, get faced, and then ride down the MassAve trail at 1715 hours, you will feel the Hate.
it does not make a difference how Hoth base it gets, as long as the sophistos get brittle and annoyed, let their babies get frostbitten. this is when the errant crossbow Missle pierces the supple flesh; potential snuff-it. forgot to give my man Croth J a big Thanks, for the UN relief burritos in Northampton, cooked up on the fly in the trenches. word Buddy. you are my fricken hero and i love you, we shall spoon later. right, this one goes out to all of the HCR soldiers and their counterParts, and their support staff...:the go Code is Arcadia, Arcadia: rendezvous @ 0700, directorSporteef du jour, remember to request clearance, or else the Flak tower WILL welcome you with a 40mm round. How is your shrapnel sandwich, oswald?

poot out

northampton - my first race report

2005-11-14T22:10:00.000-08:00

i, having never been on a bike team before, let alone one having such a wonderfully convivial cast of truly dedicated bicycle devotees, am setting out to compose my very first race report in hopes that, for both my own benefit and for the entertainment of others, i might be able to sort out exactly what happened this past SUNDAY. to begin i must remark on the many bike races that occured before the aformentioned day and the many successes and failures that flavored them. of the nine races before this ONE, i have managed to cause some not so insignificant damage to my equipment, which for the most part was due to my incompetence as both a bike mechanic and a cyclocross racer. a brief laundry list of problems:

flat tire
dented top tube
very misaligned handlebars
loss of derailleur hanger
wheel failure (read: spoke spaggetti)
brake cable detachment 2x
chain failure (so it was a little dirty)

Having learned many lessons and taped down various parts on my bike, the stage was set for some solid learnin' when approaching the barriers. i have learned to get off the bike as close to the barriers as possible. i have learned that catching the front group in the first two laps is the only tried and true way to podium, that 10 seconds is one hell of a gap, that 5 seconds is pretty big too, and that five second gaps in the last lap usually means the race. Oh yeah, if you don't kill the starting sprint, getting to the front is almost impossible, and if you do get there, you probably won't have much left to do anything about it, unless you're pete.

SO - what happened on Sunday? i still can't really explain it, but this is what i've figured out so far:
the race started with the usual-holy-shit-this-is-fucked clamour of cleats clicking and gears clacking as 100 cyclists accelerated at maximum output towards a small, muddy knoll between two trees. these hid a nasty hairpin, rutted path wide enough for maybe two or three geese to waddle down comfortably. a rider had already broken a bone in this turn during an earlier race (so we were warned at the line). we barely heard the inevitable traffic jam occurring behind us when the course immediately swept the front group to the left through some loose gravel, right again around some twiggy bushes and a steep downhill turn into a jump (train tracks) onto the field. having started in the front row next to pete, and grinding hard to hold ground, i found myself about 12 riders back from pascal who was leading the field out.

the course was dry, fast, and technical (turny, from my limited experience). (also, there were ostriches or some crazy big bird creatures running around behind a fence that may have played a role.) nate was stuck in the back getting off the waitlist into a nice, comfortable, last place starting position (he managed to pick off 57 guys during the race. Impressive.)
dave rose got a call up to the line as a member of the top 15, and jim scored a decent reg number making up for the fact that he was only a few places behind the 15 cut-off number for call ups. However, the traffic at corner 1 allowed only the top 20 or so guys through cleanly.

riders constantly nipped around and faded back for the first lap and a half making their bids. pascal and alexandre put in a HUGE effort on the bottom half opening up a 20 yard gap. i found stan jurga about three guys ahead and made him my target (this happened on Saturday too), pete was even further ahead of him.

with the first lap done i was doing all i could to hang with pete, stan, coley and ryan. pascal was still off the front with his canadian friend.
entering the lower section, the stanimal put in a huge effort to bridge up to pascal. everyone there hopped on his wheel and dug deep. this is when, after the lap one sprint, the second level of pain creeps in, and you can see white halos and black spots dancing around in your eyes. the pace was bone-bending.

stan caught them.
we were there: the very front of the race. and we were hurting.

i think each of us slowed ever so slightly at that moment. each of us breathed. a moment of recovery that would not last more than a few seconds. alexandre fell back and either coley or ryan put in some efforts at the front as all of us just hung on to the wheel in front of us, just happy we were the leaders. i was just hanging on, happy to be there. stan towed the group of us around for a lap or so until pascal, having rested behind stan, jumped out of the saddle on the lower field straight-away. immediately i realized stan wasn't responding and jumped with him. as we approached the sand pit-right-hand-turn I was still a few bike lengths behind him, and I didn't make any more ground on him until we wove around the trees and onto the backside road section where we eventually caught him on the run-up.

pascal would make these kind of jumps several more times before the race was up, and it only would have taken ONE TIME letting him go for him to win the race. my eyes were blurred with pain and my lungs were on fire but I held his wheel. i think, in retrospect, that i may have been posessed. i still don't know where i found the strength, though having awesome teammates cheering VERY loudly on the sidelines helped tremendously. the truly remarkable aid was hearing stan jurga cheering me on from behind!, providing moral support at the switchbacks. he was in third position and was cheering on number 2! stan, if you ever need anything....

stan jurga and alexandre were just on our tail for a couple laps after that, but with each of pascals "jumps" we bit off a few more seconds. not once was i in the lead for more that a few seconds. pascal was relentless.

i told myself: keep his wheel. get him on the road.
i realized with about 2 laps to go that i was hitting the run-ups faster than him. i was getting up them and remounting faster. this would play a crucial role in the final lap:

as we dropped onto the paved road approaching the first run up i made my move.
entering the woods, turning into the run-up i had earned about 3 bike lengths. i hammered the run-up and weaved through the upper section like he had showed me how to on previous laps. bombed down the skri drop, over the tracks and got out of my saddle coming out of the sweeping turn onto the grass straightaway. i hit the second run-up with everything and made it up fast. i almost ate dirt going around the pine tree at the first turn following the remount but pascal wasn't there to overtake me (the run-ups made that four second gap that saved me). i was so spent i could hardly steer my bike. i rode clumsily with something that may or may not have been my legs over a rooty section at the turn before the barriers and almost drove my front wheels into the barrier. somehow, i got it up in time and just buried the pedals one last time, like that finishing hairpin turn at Hilltowns down to the paved stretch. hammer, hammer, gear drop, gear drop, gear drop, dig, dig, dig, done.

no way.
breath
no way.
breath
no.......way......
breath
smile.

the result: verge series standings hold two harris guys in or close to podium position. pete defended his second place standing, no one fell and hurt themselves and we all got to look at all the Smithies driving through northhampton
pete, jim, thanks for showing me the way. i can't wait till next weekend, even if i finish 19 back like i did last week. what a hoot.

where is mah MAD gOat?

2005-11-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

here is to the MAD gOat, trapped somewhere is Tony Montana country, may the Gods watch over him. Happy Birthday to my brother Bob; dood is definitely turning for the better, into an era I like to refer as, "The Matter of Fact." (playing life the way it comes down-rounding out the rough edges)
so this bloke rolls up to alex before the start in N.Hampton, asks him how he likes the tires he's rocking. in true, Matter of Fact style, alex replies, "these are the only tires i've ever used."
the Whitmore proceeds to pound the front field, laying down attacks like it was Mortar-Fire Friday. brilliant weekend for our strong man, awesome weekend for all on HarrisCycleryRacing.com

thank the gods for friends and Competitors alike, particularly, ECV, BikeMan et al, Harborside Cycles, Rainbow Cycles, and of course BioGen. yo, those dudes are so fierce it is awesome. now, there are some that say they should go the A way.

indeed. also, every citizen of this nation should be issued a complimentary military grade jetPack. that'd be dope, but it aint happening. so in the meanwhile, let's give it the WWI trenchWar try, and adept to these quasi Euro ways. Tonights exercise is to think like a BelGym mofo: shrapnel dusted earth clumps; Clumps still cloudy with the blood and toil of you and your comrades. but no doubt that the Canadian presence is a force. and the only way to combat it is to press on, or develope a screen play entitled The Canadian Connection, with D.Rose as Popeye and Hans Poot as Cloudy. i don't know yet who would play the Frogs, but Big Red would definitely be one of the assassins.

more to follow, Poot sends.

here is to the Veterans, money!

2005-11-11T10:31:00.000-08:00

the word from the front is, SLOW AS molAsses, prince!
hans poot is up in the B-Way HQ trying to hint to his dispatcher that he wants to call it a day, 'send this little Vet. home, homez!'

ya, so the BOS is definitely on the slothful tip, and so this one goes out to all the comrades at Harris Cyclery, taking it easy for all us sinners.

moreover, here is to the VETERANS. home soil, across the pond, in the desert: anytime, anywhere, makes no difference to us.

so, they gave dude a beeper- oh crap, it's blowing up. sweet, time to crank out some work, Fools!

right, we shall see you at the rendezvous point at 0530, domicile du director!

poot out.

Q and A.

2005-11-08T14:38:00.000-08:00

1) If Nate were to come in Hot, would anyone stick around to see what happens??

2) What if General Grevious and Christopher Walken had children, what would they sound like? Poot take over here.

3) If the Director and I actually did some work when we went to Harris Cyclery would TQ have a heart attack? -shameless plug-

4) When women flash their "stuff" on the highway and Drose pours a scalding hot cup of tea on my crotch, does it sting?

5) If Blogging was really that cool wouldn't everyone be doing it, instead of me just making inside jokes to other people I know.

bravo company, MAC Attack, Kid!

2005-11-07T07:21:00.000-08:00

yes yo.

saturday night, at the Joyce Something rest stop. we watched a lady in a toyota crapper drive over the P. lot median with a confused vengence. bottoming out something aweful. she toasted her exhaust again trying to continue over the concrete non uci approved barrier, then grated her oil pan into oblivion Sir, as she tore it up in Full Reverse! like scared sumaritans, we silently wished her well, then pressed onward toward NJ.

shout out to the gal in the black Mazda sports coup who showed us the goods on Route 76.

Lower Allen Park, PA, MAC Series #5, rough gravel parking lot style start, lots of grass and super turney off-camber aplenty, a sweet course. mad goat busted up in the top 20, word to that.

Highlands Park, NJ, MAC Series #6, a Drag Racer's course. beautiful park setting, ripping fast grass turns. Awesome mud soaked run up and descente. A real Big, 'Sorry Dude' to the dude whose hamstring i drove Full Bore into. I had NO Where to go, man. But it's all cool, cuz I was launched ass over teet and lost complete contact with Steve Cummings and Co. who Dusted us All! brilliant riding; B Men et al.

Ellie, my sweet girl in Phillie, thanks for finding Romano's Macaroni Grill, off 276. I love you and you rock. also to Aubrey, our waiter: 4 stars man, for real.

man, fresh cilantro is the way forward.

cheers, hans Poot

whip it in to shape, bah bah black sheep...

2005-11-03T06:16:00.000-08:00

a few notes from where i sit.. cause, well, thats what i do.. i sit, and note.. and if you are lucky i yell out a few things that may or may not be of use --

i've had a particularly inspired season of cross-watching so far- thanks to the great show all you muddy wheeled gladiators have been putting on for my personal entertainment.. i'm most proud of this rag tag fleet of messenger misfits-- much ass has been kicked.. surely not the least.. your own!

we are half way there.. jet-lag causing weather pattern-mania withstanding.. maintain momentum!!

Eat Well, Sleep Well, Stretch Well, Strengthen Well - with clear minds, focus on finding that sweet spot-- me thinks cy-cross will serve to be so much more of a great life-habit builder in addition to booning to your sportman bravito... you ALL are ready to take it up a notch!

this is mid-term.. you know your baseline.. now its time for the extra credit.. step it.

(soap box-- out)

!!Comin' In Hot!!

2005-11-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

So, I've been using this term-"coming in hot!" for a while now. One could even say that it has become and integral part of my everyday lingo. I'm not going to go so far as to say that I invented this phrase, but I'm definitely a huge promoter of its everyday usage. The phrase can be usefull in many situations-such as when an airplane that you may be riding in is about to touch down, just shout it out. Especially when you seem to be going a little too fast for comfort. -Coming in Hot!-

Another situation that this phrase comes in handy is when you're driving a car, and trying to sneak through traffic into a parking space, or just an open driveway. Just yell it out the window, that way, not only do the oncoming cars know that you are fast approaching but so do any wayward pedestrians. Add a pause for emphasis... -Coming in (pause) Hot!-

Well, I've found a new arena for my favorite catch phrase, and this arena is the one called CycloCross . It adds an air of importance to any situation, denoting to other riders that someone near them may be close to riding out of control. In this situation it is a phych-out maneuver (this can be denoted by the high pitched nervous and immediate sound in the yeller's voice), but when yelled from the audience it can actually be used as a warning, as in "look out other audience members, that guy is going to break the tape and pummel into the crowd.

In any case, use it. Use it often, and use it well. Join the revolution.

-!!!Coming in Hot!!!-

Alas, I am curious, what does "Coming in Hot!" mean to you?

to Vermont?

2005-11-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

email me if you want to go to the West Hill Shop Cyclocross race this Sunday in Putney, VT. I'll have a wagon. awhitmore@gmail.com

mighty frozen trench foot

2005-11-01T11:52:00.000-08:00

this is hans Poot, reporting from HQ. the two days of racing up in glouchester were a terrific display of shell shocking glory. there was something for everyone; chaos, crashem'ups, and crazy detailing of otherwise designless conditions. after Saturdays race, i tried to write a poem about my worst fears. however, the capillaries in my fingers seized up, and i was sent into paralysis for a spell. cheers to our competitors, cheers to the fans, and cheers to the Gods for touching us with biting cold and blissfull sea breezes. i only hope that my team mates do not consume too much proccessed glucose [glazed, caramelized, or peanut filled] because every one knows that the real sweets are to be found in the pleantiful earth fruits.
so drop your reeses and go pick some apples with a comrade or comradine!
thanks to the recent nato relief drop, Bravo squad will be heading to the MAC zone. we have found friendlies and friendly fire to make our descente flack-tastic and emergency landing ready. brilliant stuff all around. more to follow. poot out.
ps, viva la direct0r Sporteef!

Gloucester - Day 1

2005-10-30T05:47:00.000-08:00

If you didn't make it to Gloucester you screwed up. And the reason you screwed up is because you had a chance to witness true 'cross racing under the most extreme of conditions. The kind of conditions that would be considered normal in Belgium or Ice Station Zebra.

The day started out a little gray and chilly for the C race and our man Nate rode strong for a second place finish. Thane and Martin also finished repectfully. As it got closer to the start of the B race the weather turned decidedly nasty. I few flurries gave way to fat flakes and soon the conditions on the course were slick, muddy and perfect for 'cross madness. The B race got under way and, as always, did not disappoint. Pete and Jim rode like men on fire, which would have helped since it was so freakin' cold. Dave looked good early on but crashed out and every time Jeremy rode past me he was looking thru slitted eyes and I was starting to think that the snow had frozen his eyelids shut.

I need to take a moment to describe the course, which was in a word - LONG. The guys came in frozen and shaking unable to feel fingers and toes and needed to hang out in a warm car to bring them back from their near hypothermic state. I keep myself warm by running back and forth from different vantage points along the course. The first turn, the crazy hairpin zigzags, the run up etc. Every one in that race was suffering from the cold and wet and we, the spectators, were loving it. By the time Perri hit the course it was pretty rough but she rode on and finished well. I was greatly impressed by the riders and their willingness to go all out in the muck and cold and hammer for five or six laps. If you haven't come out for a race yet, do it. Go to the very next one, bring a cow bell and shake it hard when the riders go by. Get ready for Nationals, which doesn't come around that often. Don't screw up.

so resourceful, isn't he......

2005-10-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

Fortune from the cookie.

2005-10-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

Lunch Fortune.
"A new friend helps you breakout of an old routine"...in bed.
Ha Ha Ha

The Biggest Cock at the Coonamessett race.

2005-10-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

"I may not win races...

2005-10-26T19:30:00.000-07:00

...but my shit is dialed in." -Director

quasi fusion; no hope to be found here.

2005-10-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

alo, this is hans poot. leave us see.
there is nothing better than to find the answers we seek in the past. so many fools have passed the gates of Dawn before us, thus, let us rejoice in their failure.
i was in a municipal health center in the North End today, and i was checking out the stuff on the counter. hand sanitizer, face masks, ear plugs maybe, brochures on how to be more OCD, and a sign that read: "if you have a rash, please notify one of the staff members"

i refer you to the film. The Big Lebowski......I gotta rash, man!

word. yo, today was mad windy, not like yesterday, but then again, i wouldnt know about how that day went, cuz i was at the shop. doing the worker thing. but i heard that a bunch of soldiers downtown were felled due to the wind. one dude was thrown under a car, got all tangled under the chassis intertwingled in his bike. i was counting the dead umbrellas, for sure.

so, like, you guys wanna keep it real here or what! I trying to work with you on this one, here.....fine! yer so darned tootin!

if you are not against me, dont cross this line...if you are, do. I love you all.

poot.

CycloCross Racing with the gang.

2005-10-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

So here we are racing out of Harris Cyclery in
West Newton MA.
We are a team comprised of industry related
individuals. We all have some connection to the
world of bicycles, aside from being consumers. The
great majority of us were and still are Bicycle Couriers.
So that sets the tone for our first year as a Cross team.

Underdogs.

Individually we don't quite fit with all the other road
teams out there so I felt a home for the misfits must be
created. What a great idea it was and continues to be.
Off to a commanding start.

Stay tuned for photos and stories of racing up and down
the East Coast.

Please let us know what you think.

Oh yeah, check our site for the schedule and come visit
us at the red Raleigh tent. CycloCross is best experienced
in the cold weather at the beer tent!

Harris? Blogg? Why Not?

2005-10-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's halfway through the season, and we've decided it's time to blog.
We do have a real Website.
It's real sweet, and was made enthusiastically by PMI Design.