What the F*ck, Chuck.

I miss going on road trips with the guys. They were so fun. I know, Hans didn't win when I went, but this time he was back in the MAC...his powers...Doubled. Werd to you man. However, when I went. My beard took pics like this one.

See Drose in the back there? Looking all Devo and smug. His hot tea waiting, quivering with anticipation, hovering in mid-air while some lady drives up next to us. Who you foolin, son? I know you about to pour that on my c-rotch. Don't lie.

And please, please tell me, that when we get pulled over, the Director is going to get us out of trouble. Why? Because he looks like an off duty Vermont State Trooper. I knew it. Dialed right in.

But really, what you are asking yourself, is "What the F*ck, Chuck?" Well, it is Here. Parental Discretion is Advised.

Stratagem Two Fold [sic]

Greetings, this is to be a Two Front weekend. the players might be different, but the rules are the same. engage with laserGuided precision, following the egg and chezo sandwich or course.
we shall first bivouac close to home. the theatre of conflict is round4, new england stijl. somewhat near the BOS. after the ordeal, bravoSquad will away to the south, where the family restaurants have some of the nicest and most awkward teen waitStaff in this UNation. their collective courtesie notwithstanding, they will never fully grasp our ways. But it will be our last reenactment of sherman's party waltz for season'05.
A Toast: here is to Virginia. Up and Over lads. oh, and gents, my 3yr old indonesian halfSistah might be in attendance, this is to say, that she is finished with her polyExotic training.

"OFF TO THE FRONT, YOU BLINDMAN...!"

comrades, i shall see you all on the other side of the river.

Ssgt. Poot.

Hoth based, Disgraced.

Thank Zeus I missed out on work this Wednesday. who knows where the communication gap took place, but it meant that i could catch up on sleep, remember the sleepy time tea cozey dozey gig? sometimes there is not enough, like when you are on assignment in the outer regions controled by the Hutt. Creepy times, right? Today was fun, chilly and crisp. running noses, running red lights, and running on empty, Prince. Mad Zone CrissCrossing around the BOS, lightning strike in and out of Cambrodia, and nothing delights me like a lightning strike ops through Cambrodia, those fascists! [cambrodia is cambridge, y'all. watch Flight of the Intruder, with Willem dafoe, get faced, and then ride down the MassAve trail at 1715 hours, you will feel the Hate.
it does not make a difference how Hoth base it gets, as long as the sophistos get brittle and annoyed, let their babies get frostbitten. this is when the errant crossbow Missle pierces the supple flesh; potential snuff-it. forgot to give my man Croth J a big Thanks, for the UN relief burritos in Northampton, cooked up on the fly in the trenches. word Buddy. you are my fricken hero and i love you, we shall spoon later. right, this one goes out to all of the HCR soldiers and their counterParts, and their support staff...:the go Code is Arcadia, Arcadia: rendezvous @ 0700, directorSporteef du jour, remember to request clearance, or else the Flak tower WILL welcome you with a 40mm round. How is your shrapnel sandwich, oswald?

poot out

where is mah MAD gOat?

here is to the MAD gOat, trapped somewhere is Tony Montana country, may the Gods watch over him. Happy Birthday to my brother Bob; dood is definitely turning for the better, into an era I like to refer as, "The Matter of Fact." (playing life the way it comes down-rounding out the rough edges)
so this bloke rolls up to alex before the start in N.Hampton, asks him how he likes the tires he's rocking. in true, Matter of Fact style, alex replies, "these are the only tires i've ever used."
the Whitmore proceeds to pound the front field, laying down attacks like it was Mortar-Fire Friday. brilliant weekend for our strong man, awesome weekend for all on HarrisCycleryRacing.com

thank the gods for friends and Competitors alike, particularly, ECV, BikeMan et al, Harborside Cycles, Rainbow Cycles, and of course BioGen. yo, those dudes are so fierce it is awesome. now, there are some that say they should go the A way.

indeed. also, every citizen of this nation should be issued a complimentary military grade jetPack. that'd be dope, but it aint happening. so in the meanwhile, let's give it the WWI trenchWar try, and adept to these quasi Euro ways. Tonights exercise is to think like a BelGym mofo: shrapnel dusted earth clumps; Clumps still cloudy with the blood and toil of you and your comrades. but no doubt that the Canadian presence is a force. and the only way to combat it is to press on, or develope a screen play entitled The Canadian Connection, with D.Rose as Popeye and Hans Poot as Cloudy. i don't know yet who would play the Frogs, but Big Red would definitely be one of the assassins.

more to follow, Poot sends.

here is to the Veterans, money!

the word from the front is, SLOW AS molAsses, prince!
hans poot is up in the B-Way HQ trying to hint to his dispatcher that he wants to call it a day, 'send this little Vet. home, homez!'

ya, so the BOS is definitely on the slothful tip, and so this one goes out to all the comrades at Harris Cyclery, taking it easy for all us sinners.

moreover, here is to the VETERANS. home soil, across the pond, in the desert: anytime, anywhere, makes no difference to us.

so, they gave dude a beeper- oh crap, it's blowing up. sweet, time to crank out some work, Fools!

right, we shall see you at the rendezvous point at 0530, domicile du director!

poot out.

Q and A.

1) If Nate were to come in Hot, would anyone stick around to see what happens??

2) What if General Grevious and Christopher Walken had children, what would they sound like? Poot take over here.

3) If the Director and I actually did some work when we went to Harris Cyclery would TQ have a heart attack? -shameless plug-

4) When women flash their "stuff" on the highway and Drose pours a scalding hot cup of tea on my crotch, does it sting?

5) If Blogging was really that cool wouldn't everyone be doing it, instead of me just making inside jokes to other people I know.

bravo company, MAC Attack, Kid!

yes yo.

saturday night, at the Joyce Something rest stop. we watched a lady in a toyota crapper drive over the P. lot median with a confused vengence. bottoming out something aweful. she toasted her exhaust again trying to continue over the concrete non uci approved barrier, then grated her oil pan into oblivion Sir, as she tore it up in Full Reverse! like scared sumaritans, we silently wished her well, then pressed onward toward NJ.

shout out to the gal in the black Mazda sports coup who showed us the goods on Route 76.

Lower Allen Park, PA, MAC Series #5, rough gravel parking lot style start, lots of grass and super turney off-camber aplenty, a sweet course. mad goat busted up in the top 20, word to that.

Highlands Park, NJ, MAC Series #6, a Drag Racer's course. beautiful park setting, ripping fast grass turns. Awesome mud soaked run up and descente. A real Big, 'Sorry Dude' to the dude whose hamstring i drove Full Bore into. I had NO Where to go, man. But it's all cool, cuz I was launched ass over teet and lost complete contact with Steve Cummings and Co. who Dusted us All! brilliant riding; B Men et al.

Ellie, my sweet girl in Phillie, thanks for finding Romano's Macaroni Grill, off 276. I love you and you rock. also to Aubrey, our waiter: 4 stars man, for real.

man, fresh cilantro is the way forward.

cheers, hans Poot

!!Comin' In Hot!!

So, I've been using this term-"coming in hot!" for a while now. One could even say that it has become and integral part of my everyday lingo. I'm not going to go so far as to say that I invented this phrase, but I'm definitely a huge promoter of its everyday usage. The phrase can be usefull in many situations-such as when an airplane that you may be riding in is about to touch down, just shout it out. Especially when you seem to be going a little too fast for comfort. -Coming in Hot!-

Another situation that this phrase comes in handy is when you're driving a car, and trying to sneak through traffic into a parking space, or just an open driveway. Just yell it out the window, that way, not only do the oncoming cars know that you are fast approaching but so do any wayward pedestrians. Add a pause for emphasis... -Coming in (pause) Hot!-

Well, I've found a new arena for my favorite catch phrase, and this arena is the one called CycloCross . It adds an air of importance to any situation, denoting to other riders that someone near them may be close to riding out of control. In this situation it is a phych-out maneuver (this can be denoted by the high pitched nervous and immediate sound in the yeller's voice), but when yelled from the audience it can actually be used as a warning, as in "look out other audience members, that guy is going to break the tape and pummel into the crowd.

In any case, use it. Use it often, and use it well. Join the revolution.

-!!!Coming in Hot!!!-

Alas, I am curious, what does "Coming in Hot!" mean to you?

mighty frozen trench foot

this is hans Poot, reporting from HQ. the two days of racing up in glouchester were a terrific display of shell shocking glory. there was something for everyone; chaos, crashem'ups, and crazy detailing of otherwise designless conditions. after Saturdays race, i tried to write a poem about my worst fears. however, the capillaries in my fingers seized up, and i was sent into paralysis for a spell. cheers to our competitors, cheers to the fans, and cheers to the Gods for touching us with biting cold and blissfull sea breezes. i only hope that my team mates do not consume too much proccessed glucose [glazed, caramelized, or peanut filled] because every one knows that the real sweets are to be found in the pleantiful earth fruits.
so drop your reeses and go pick some apples with a comrade or comradine!
thanks to the recent nato relief drop, Bravo squad will be heading to the MAC zone. we have found friendlies and friendly fire to make our descente flack-tastic and emergency landing ready. brilliant stuff all around. more to follow. poot out.
ps, viva la direct0r Sporteef!